Warning: This article includes discussion of disordered eating.
Very few people know what went down during Love Is Blind season 9 better than Madison Maidenberg, but watching Joe Ferrucci’s confessionals still caught her off guard.
“This was [the] worst-case scenario for me,” Madison from Love Is Blind tells me over Zoom a few days after the first six episodes dropped on Netflix on October 1. “Worst-case scenario is the person you fall in love with isn’t attracted to you, and all of a sudden it becomes not about the connection, but the attraction. And while I think that’s very important, this is Love Is Blind. We did it for the emotional experience. It was definitely a hard watch.”
For the first two episodes of the reality series, Madison and Joe made a strong case for the season’s cutest couple, instantly connecting and planning dream dates at 7-Eleven. But there was a notable tonal shift when the pair saw each other in person for the first time after their engagement in episode 3.
While Joe claims on camera at multiple points that he was struggling to apply the emotions he felt in the pods to the person in front of him, he eventually told Madison that she’s not his “usual type,” which he describes to producers as “thinner women.” If you thought Joe’s emotional switch-up was uncomfortable to watch from home, for Madison, it felt even worse to hear during what was supposed to be her honeymoon.
In a vulnerable moment, Madison tells me she struggled with disordered eating following her return from Mexico and her time on the show.
“The things that he said kind of carelessly really did impact me, you know?” she says. “It’s really important to be aware that words carry weight.”
When asked by Glamour how he felt watching himself talk about Madison’s body during the show, Joe says: “Not great.”
“I never want to contribute to anyone feeling that way,” he continues. “She always came across as confident and comfortable in her own skin. Mind you, in our conversation, I was not shaming her. Just being truthful of who I went for in the past. I found her attractive, both in how she looked and how she carried herself.”
It’s been nearly two years since season 9 began filming in February 2024, and Madison says she’s now “healthy,” largely crediting her strong support system and “great therapist.”
“I really realized that in this experiment, you feel so out of control, right?” she says. “I think coming back to real life and being with my family, my friends, getting back into my routine, was something that was really helpful.”
While Madison says it’s been “difficult to talk about,” she’s grateful for the opportunity to connect with those who’ve gone through similar struggles with body image and disordered eating.
According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, while 15 percent of women will struggle with eating disorders before their 40s or 50s, just 27 percent of them will seek any treatment, and many face shame and stigma.
By speaking out, Madison hopes to help others with similar experiences, just as she did by opening up about her degenerative eye disease retinitis pigmentosa during her time on the show.
She adds, “And honestly, I hope that it puts in perspective for Joe that he needs to be far more mindful when he’s speaking about partners and women in general.”
Below, Madison of Love Is Blind speaks with Glamour about other pod connections we didn’t see, why she didn’t ditch her honeymoon, and what we can expect from the rest of her journey.
Glamour: First of all, how are you?
Madison Maidenberg: I’m feeling really good. I have gotten so many amazing messages and just like love and support from people. I’ve been getting messages of people that have [retinitis pigmentosa] like I do, and family members of people with RP, and it’s been, honestly, just overwhelming with so much love, but it’s been really incredible and really special.
What surprised you the most while watching the episodes for yourself?
I think seeing Joe talk about my body the way that he did was definitely surprising. Like, obviously we’d had a conversation. You see me on the boat saying that I felt sick from some of his comments the night before. The things that he said to me were a little bit softer.… You know, it was not fun hearing him call me a “that.” That was pretty diabolical.
During the experience, did you ever feel like Joe was concerned with public perception?
Yes, I did absolutely get the general sense that he was very much hyperaware of the cameras, and very hyperaware of how he came off. When I’m crying in the courtyard, and you see him kind of walk [into the bathroom] and he’s saying, “It’s funny, it’s funny.” He’s kind of having this self-talk of what he’s thinking his edit is going to be.
When I first met one of his friends and we were back in Denver, we’re off camera, and the first thing that his friend asked me was, “Are you concerned about your edit?” And it was not like, “Oh, it’s great to meet you. How are you feeling about the relationship?” It was kind of starting to piece together slowly for me, that he was just very concerned about the public perception of him.
[Editor’s note: Regarding his mirror comment, Joe tells Glamour, “Filming a show like that is an intense, emotional experience, and I think everyone has moments where they become aware of how things might come across. That line was more me trying to process an awkward moment than worrying about how I’d be edited. But I understand how it could look that way. My goal throughout was to be genuine, even if I didn’t always get it right.”]
You mentioned you felt “sick” over a conversation you had with Joe the night prior to your boat date. What was the conversation?
On and off camera, Joe was different. Off camera, he was far more reassuring. We were very intimate, very touchy. And then on camera, it was the opposite, and you kind of see that at the pool party. And that night, I actually had a conversation with him where I said, “I’m a little bit confused, because off camera, you’re one way. On camera, you’re another way. Are you trying to make it look like you’re not into me?”
And he said, “No, babe, I’m totally into you.” And I said, “Well, it’s just I’m getting this sense that something’s a little bit off.” And while we were unpacking our suitcases, I think he said something to the effect of, “You’re just not my usual type, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not into you.”
So I kind of dug deeper, like, “What is your typical type?” And he was like, “I just usually date more petite women.” I am a really confident person. At that moment, it kind of put me into this insecure feeling.
[Joe tells Glamour, “I was trying, poorly, to explain a pattern in my past dating experiences, not to compare or criticize. I definitely do not look anything like Madison’s past partners either. I would be hard-pressed to say she thinks I am her regular type she usually goes for, but that is the experiment.”]
You two seemed to connect very quickly in the pods. Were there any other connections we didn’t see?
I actually went to proposal day with two people. Blake was actually my number one, day one. I loved Blake. He was great. Joe was actually my number five on day one. And he kind of slowly climbed the ranks as I got to know him more and as we spent more time together.
Do you have any regrets about that?
I don’t have any regrets. I think that my journey through this experiment was exactly what it was meant to be. While I do feel disappointed in the way that I was treated, it has opened so many doors for me emotionally, to get to know myself and to be more confident and be able to speak my truth in ways that I hadn’t before.
When things first started getting weird at the pool party, there was an interaction I thought was strange. At one point, Joe asks if you like Jordan and you say, “Jordan, of course, he’s a good friend.” And then Jordan says, “Well, I don’t like you.” What was that about?
So, I know exactly what that was about. Jordan and I actually went to day three or four [of the pods], and I kind of got to a point where I was like, I think he’s a great guy, but I’m not in a position to be a stepmom and I can’t show up for him in this way. So when I first met Jordan [in person], he said to me, “Thanks for taking me off the bench to sub in this other guy.”
Whatever, we move on and then five minutes later, he brings it up again, like, “Madison took me off the bench, Madison didn’t want to talk to me.” And I was like, “Jordan, you seem really scorned about this. Do you want to talk about it?” And then he’s like, “No, ha ha.”
They were in bro mode. I mean, you see that through the whole pool party. You see how the boys interact, and it’s very boyish, and I think that he was just joking around about that.
You’ve already spoken about your fight with Joe after the party in other interviews, and we know you guys make it past the honeymoon from previews. Can you explain what made you want to continue?
At that point we’re only together for three days. I’m kind of in observation mode, right? It’s our first time together as a couple in a group setting. I don’t know if this is a normal thing for him or if this is just a symptom of this crazy experience, right? So for me, I decided to move forward with it because I’m like, Maybe this is just a one-off situation.
And like I said, I was kind of being breadcrumbed. I was being given this reassurance and being told that he loves me and wants to do this with me and is excited. And then on camera I’m getting a lot of what you see. So that’s why I continue to keep going, is because I had the hope that the person that I fell for in the pods would resurface.
What can we expect to see from you in the remaining episodes?
I think people can expect to see me being really authentic. They can expect to see me going through it. You can expect to see the highs and the lows of what a relationship is, as normal or abnormal as this may be.
Is there anything you want people to remember as they react online?
I wouldn’t have continued in the relationship had there not been genuinely good things in the relationship. Joe was so consistent in the pods. And I think that’s something to remember, is that we’re all trying to figure things out, right? We’re all human, and we’re all going through this experience for the very first time.
This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.