Sure, it's not Valentine's Day, but Christmas can certainly be a lovey-dovey time of year. Just look at the sheer number of Christmas love songs that exist.
But which one is the love-iest? The one that completely epitomizes a truly romantic Christmas? A seasonal song to fall in love to? Here, we take a closer look at some of our favorite Christmas love songs and rate them based on what you'd be doing under the mistletoe while they played. Get ready to have a lot of mushy Christmas music stuck in your head (’tis the season, after all). We even made a playlist for you, below.
And now, let's dive into these Christmas tunes.
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”
Sample lyric: “I really can't stay. Baby, it's cold outside.”
Romance factor: The melody sounds romantic and sexy, and the idea of lingering with the one you love much longer than you should is familiar to anyone in a new relationship.
Ick factor: This is basically the “Blurred Lines” of Christmas carols. It's so catchy you wish you could pretend the lyrics weren't so problematic. But the “Say, what's in this drink?” bit? Disturbing.
Mistletoe potential: No kiss. Please read this pamphlet on consent instead.
“Last Christmas”
Sample lyric: “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.”
Romance factor: Well, at least this year you've got plans to give your heart to someone special?
Ick factor: Spending Christmas still mourning the person who broke your heart last year is depressing, and I would know.
Mistletoe potential: Not high. This feels like wiping away a single tear while you watch your ex kiss your mortal enemy from across the room.
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
Sample lyric: “Through the years we all will be together if the fates allow.”
Romance factor: How can this be romantic when it's the saddest Christmas song of all time? There have been entire articles written about its melancholy message and history, so sorry if we're not exactly in the mood when this is playing.
Ick factor: Present in the “I really need a tissue” way.
Mistletoe potential: If you like kissing while weeping.
“Please Come Home for Christmas”
Sample lyric: “My baby's gone; I have no friends to wish me greetings once again.”
Romance factor: It's a sad—but sweet—wish for a lover to come home.
Ick factor: Honestly, this song is a bummer.
Mistletoe potential: Passing out alone in the doorway with a half-eaten roll of cookie dough in your hand.
“Wonderful Christmastime”
Sample lyric: “We're simply having a wonderful Christmastime.”
Romance factor: Zero, this is more like dancing around the tree with your siblings in your footed pajamas.
Ick factor: Also zero. Everything is too wonderful!
Mistletoe potential: Minimal because I'm too busy simply having a wonderful Christmastime.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
Sample lyric: “I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white.”
Romance factor: I mean, there's kissing. And sneaking around, which is kind of hot.
Ick factor: When you're a little kid, this song is about your mom cheating on your dad. When you get a little older, it's about your mom and your dad sucking face when they should be focusing on getting your presents under the tree. Either way, EW, MOM, STOP.
Mistletoe potential: Not much. This feels like seeing your dad pat your mom's bum and wink.
“Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
Sample lyric: “’Cause I remember when you were here and all the fun we had last year.”
Romance factor: This is definitely a sweet walk down memory lane after a little too much Christmas punch.
Ick factor: It depends. If your baby really doesn't want to come home and you won't stop calling, the ick factor is on you.
Mistletoe potential: Not too much, since this is the equivalent of a holiday drunk dial.
“Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”
Sample lyric: “He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake.”
Romance factor: Only if you like being watched.
Ick factor: Intense. Santa, please turn away.
Mistletoe potential: Maybe a slight peck while Santa—that creep!—looks on.
“Feliz Navidad”
Sample lyric: “Feliz Navidad, prospero año y felicidad. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, from the bottom of my heart.”
Romance factor: We're distracted by how few lyrics are actually in this song. Isn't there more to this?
Ick factor: Yes, if you think about how badly people butcher the Spanish in this.
Mistletoe potential: Zilch for anyone who thinks singing along to this makes them sound fluent in another language.
“Santa Baby”
Sample lyric: “Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me.”
Romance factor: If you think diamonds are a girl's best friend, this song is probably the most romantic thing you've ever heard.
Ick factor: The person singing this would definitely not agree with my rant against “Dating for Free Things.”
Mistletoe potential: Eye rolling while protesting, “Don't kiss me, honey, you'll smear my carefully applied red lipstick!”
“Drummer Boy” (Justin Bieber version)
Sample lyric: “I'm so bad like Michael I know / I'm still young but I go, I go / Stupid, stupid, love like Cupid / I'ma drummer boy so do, do.”
Romance factor: It's impossible to even say the word romance while talking about this song.
Ick factor: At peak level. Bieber may have made one of the most cringey Christmas tunes of all time.
Mistletoe potential: None, unless this is what Justin and Hailey cuddle to at home.
“My Only Wish (This Year)”
Sample lyric: “Seems like everyone but me is in love. Santa, can you hear me?”
Romance factor: A wishing-for-love song for single people that's upbeat enough to keep anyone from weeping into their hot cocoa. Thanks, Britney Spears.
Ick factor: You might still weep into your hot cocoa. But get it together: This song is charming.
Mistletoe potential: Eh, not so much—but at least toast yourself with a glass of Champagne.
“The Christmas Song”
Sample lyric: “Although it's been said many times, many ways, merry Christmas to you.”
Romance factor: Minimal, since we're thinking about all kids “1 to 92.”
Ick factor: None. Chestnuts are roasting on the open fire and things couldn't be cozier.
Mistletoe potential: There's mistletoe up somewhere, but you're too comfortable to get up.
“Twelve Days of Christmas”
Sample lyric: “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…”
Romance factor: Calling someone “my true love” is so black-and-white-movie swoon-worthy. And 12 days of appropriately numbered gifts seems like a grand gesture.
Ick factor: I can tell the person in the song put a lot of thought into these themed gifts, but what is with the bird obsession? Also, this song is like the holiday version of “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” because it feels like it never ends.
Mistletoe potential: So-so. While this is playing, you might exchange meaningful look with your partner that's interrupted by your shrieking niece and nephew.
“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”
Sample lyric: “But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be on your own front door.”
Romance factor: That “prettiest sight” line could have been charming, but it ends up being a huge disappointment. Really, the holly?
Ick factor: Annoying, not icky.
Mistletoe potential: This is like leaning in for a mistletoe kiss and getting a pat on the head instead.
“Sleigh Ride”
Sample lyric: “We're snuggled up together like two birds of a feather would be.”
Romance factor: Obviously, a cuddly sleigh ride for two is just plain adorable.
Ick factor: Not much, although it should be noted that your view on that darling sleigh ride is probably a horse's backside, and realistically, that can get kind of gross. It's a real mood killer.
Mistletoe potential: The equivalent of blushing after a kiss on the cheek from your crush.
“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”
Sample lyric: “Mistletoe hung where you can see, every couple tries to stop.”
Romance factor: This references getting a “a sentimental feeling,” but that's about all the emotion it's stirring up for me.
Ick factor: Little, although if there are tons of other couples trying to stop under the mistletoe, we need to find some privacy, ASAP.
Mistletoe potential: High for everyone else, apparently.
“Christmas Wrapping”
Sample lyric: “‘Spending this one alone,’ he said, ‘Give me a break, this year's been crazy.’”
Romance factor: This song is very similar to running into your crush while you're out of breath, juggling a gym bag and groceries, and wearing an old T-shirt with sweatpants. But it's an ode to being a hot mess sung in its best version by the Spice Girls, so it's still perfect.
Ick factor: A little, because that guy was a no-show so many times.
Mistletoe potential: Yes, because it wraps up with a very happy ending.
“Let It Snow”
Sample lyric: “But if you'll really hold me tight, all the way home I'll be warm.”
Romance factor: Awwwww. Okay, this is basically the unproblematic version of “Baby, It's Cold Outside.” This is how you linger with your baby: no pressure and with no suspicious drinks.
Ick factor: Ick-free, unless you're so cold your heart has frozen over.
Mistletoe potential: More like a big, warm hug from your long-term love.
“Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays”
Sample lyric: “Merry Christmas and happy hoooolidaaaaays.”
Romance factor: Only because this gives me flashbacks to being a kid and dreaming about marrying *NSYNC as a unit in the most chaste wedding ever.
Ick factor: Very slight. If you avoid the video, the boy band fantasies hold up.
Mistletoe potential: Sure, if it involves 2000s-era *NSYNC.
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
Sample lyric: “There'll be much mistletoe-ing and hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near.”
Romance factor: If it's the Andy Williams version, then high.
Ick factor: Well, if you're talking about mistletoe-ing, it kind of kills the vibe.
Mistletoe potential: Sure, but that trip to the mistletoe comes with a big “ugh” for ruining the moment.
“Santa Bring My Baby Back (To Me)”
Sample lyric: “But with my baby far away, what good is mistletoe?”
Romance factor: Huge, mostly because its Elvis begging Santa for some Christmas love.
Ick factor: Maybe just a little clingy...
Mistletoe potential: Anything with Elvis has mistletoe potential.
“Winter Wonderland”
Sample lyric: “We're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland...”
Romance factor: There is glistening snow and bluebirds singing love songs, so that's romantic. Unless, of course, you slip while walking in this idyllic winter wonderland. Wear sensible shoes!
Ick factor: Definitely cheesy, but a low ick factor.
Mistletoe potential: What good is a stroll through a winter utopia without at least some smooching?
“Eight Days of Christmas”
Sample lyric: “Oh he makes me feel so lovely, so sexy, I'm so in la-la-la-la-love.”
Romance factor: Destiny's Child sings about getting “Chloe shades and a diamond belly ring,” plus “a nice back rub and he massaged my feet,” so a lot.
Ick factor: It comes in the line about “a crop jacket and a dirty denim jeans.” Why are those jeans dirty? Everything was going so well!
Mistletoe potential: ALL OF THE POTENTIAL. I'll forgive the dirty jeans.
“All I Want for Christmas Is You”
Sample lyric: “I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know.”
Romance factor: All of it, this song is everything. Go home, other Christmas carols, BYE. Mariah sends her love.
Ick factor: Nothing, duh. Although you are more likely to drunkenly scream-karaoke this song six times in a row with 14 of your closest girlfriends than you are to play it quietly while staring into the eyes of your love. But really, is that any less special?
Mistletoe potential: Getting a proposal from the love of your life.
“Christmas Tree”
Sample lyric: “Ho-ho-ho, under the mistletoe. Yes, everybody knows we will take off our clothes.”
Romance factor: Zero. This Lady Gaga Christmas jam ditches the romance and goes straight for capital S-E-X.
Ick factor: None! It's a sex-positive song about getting your freak on at Christmas. What's not to love?
Mistletoe potential: Again, none! Please see that above line about getting your freak on. That and mistletoe just don't mix.
“Wit It This Christmas”
Sample lyric: “Come and kiss me, baby. We don't need no mistletoe. We don't need no fireplace, Boy, I'll keep you nice and warm, hey.”
Romance factor: 50/50. This could be read as a hookup song, but lyrics like “’Tis the season for some love giving” give it a little warmth.
Ick factor: Only one line: “Are you down for some of these milk and cookies?” Food-as-sex metaphors are just cringe!
Mistletoe potential: Zero, and it's Ariana Grande's fault! She literally says at the beginning of the song she doesn't need mistletoe.
It's been a stressful year, but at least you can count on Hollywood to come through with the holiday cheer. After all, what's more relaxing than watching an overworked woman fall in love with a Christmas-tree farmer? So decompress with All the Jingle Ladies, our guide to the best holiday movies.
