The couple that gets cosmetic work together stays together. That’s not how the saying goes, but for Eric Nietzel, RN, it rings true at his New York City aesthetics clinic I Wanna Be Prettty, where he’s seen a recent uptick in couples booking joint appointments. Nietzel, who offers treatments like Botox, filler, and platelet-rich plasma (PRP) injections and microneedling, first noticed a wave of couple clientele coming in together around two years ago and has received a steady stream ever since.
According to Nietzel, the increase seems to be driven by a younger demographic, who are generally more open-minded and enthusiastic about treatments, and view it as a form of bonding time.
“With older clientele 50s and up, when they’re bringing their partners it’s always a little more naggy,” says Nietzel. “They’re like, ‘Come in, you look terrible. You need to do this, you need to do that.’”
With Nietzel’s younger couples, he’s found the experience to be more positive and less one-sided. “Younger people bring in their partners, and it’s more like, ‘Come check this out. You’re going to like it. You’ll look a little more refreshed,’” he says. “It’s almost like they’re trying to share an experience. They’re really excited about [their partner] gaining that same confidence.”
This shift speaks to a few things we know to be true about the current beauty landscape. Cosmetic work is more popular than ever. Celebrities are becoming transparent about what they’ve gotten done, often normalizing treatments like Botox and filler in the process. Not to mention the idea of an improved appearance is appealing to many of us living in the digital age of endless photos, videos, social media apps, and Zoom calls.
Kiran Mian, MD, a board-certified dermatologist at Hudson Dermatology and Laser Surgery in New York City, has also noticed a particular increase in awareness and willingness among straight male patients.
“What I’m starting to see more of is the man coming in on his own.” says Dr. Mian. “Meaning they’ll come in together, but the man is like, ‘I don’t like these lines. I don’t like this texture. I want smoother skin.’ Whereas before he would just sit there, and the woman is doing all the talking. I’m seeing more and more males becoming more involved in their aesthetic appearance.”
Such is the case for Sebastian Tomé, a 33-year-old pilot married to model and content creator Greta Louise Tomé. Sebastian first got PRP injections after noticing his undereye area looking tired and dull. He was attracted to PRP for its natural derivatives, which uses platelet-rich plasma from a patient’s own blood that is then injected back into skin to smooth fine lines and reduce dark circles. Greta had been a patient of Nietzel’s for years and suggested her husband join her for a visit.
“I definitely noticed [my undereyes] myself,” says Sebastian. “I work weird, different hours. Some days, I’m up at 3 a.m. to go to work, and that, obviously, has a toll on your skin and on your body. Greta did it, it looked great on her, and I said, ‘Why not try it?’”
Similarly, Dan Quinn, 37, decided to try Botox after learning about the neurotoxin from his wife, Carrieanne. A veteran beauty publicist, Carrieanne started getting it for preventative purposes. At first, Dan—like many husbands—wasn’t sold on the idea.
“I was a skeptic at the start. ‘Oh you don’t need it. I think you look great, Carrieanne, why would you talk about this?’” Dan says. “And then she would give me the position, ‘This can be preventative, it can help keep your skin firm.’ Speaking to the benefits of it, I was like, ‘Okay, it’s not for me, but for you, great.’”
When Carrieanne started working with Dendy Engleman, MD, at Shafer Clinic in New York City, Dan realized cosmetic work could look natural and undetectable if that’s the goal. “What eventually sold me was the curiosity around it,” he says. “If it can be good, what does it feel like? I’m not alone when I say most guys are not good at recognizing when someone has work done. Largely, that’s what prompted me to follow through.”
Increased interest in cosmetic work among heterosexual men is notable given how traditionally only women have cared to maintain their appearances in relationships. (In 2022, Glamour even published a story about women hiding cosmetic work from their husbands.)
Thais Gibson, a relationship expert and founder of The Personal Development School, has seen this trend in her own practice and says transparency around cosmetic work can ultimately deepen a bond when viewed as a form of self-care.
“There could be people whose partner is pressuring them to get work done and that could be an unhealthy relationship,” says Gibson. “But I think for the vast majority of people, it’s sort of the new couple’s massage in a lot of ways. In the past it was a lot more common for women to get cosmetic work done and keep it private from their partner, and that right there creates a wall. If we have this vulnerability and transparency, that creates a huge bridge for connection.”
Gibson adds that research has shown people who invest in themselves are much more likely to invest in their relationships. There’s also a direct correlation between self-esteem and attraction, which can be mutually beneficial.
“Originally a lot of that research was done around women, but over time it’s actually expanded out to men to show that both people are very much impacted,” says Gibson. “When people are feeling better about themselves in general, they’re more likely to feel more attractive to their partners. Our perception of ourselves has a higher impact on sex and intimacy than our partner’s perception of us, which I find to be so interesting.”
Dan does not receive Botox regularly (the last treatment was before his wedding a year ago), but every time Carrieanne sees his results, she’s brought back to the feeling of when they first met. “I was more trying to preserve that version of Dan,” says Carrieanne. “Like, even if I forgot that he got treatment, he would do [Botox] and I’d be like, Oh man, he looks so good. It would kind of remind me of the way he was, a little bit back in time. I’d be like, Ah, yes, that’s exactly what I wanted.”
Weddings are one of the most common reasons why a couple will come in for an appointment. Dr. Mian typically does joint consultations with both partners in the room, where they can bounce ideas off each other. “It’s a very mutual thing,” she says. “They both trust me, and then I’ll go over their treatment plan. And then afterwards they’ll come in and show me the pictures from the big day. I love being a part of it.”
Greta, who also first started seeing Nietzel to prepare for her wedding, has always been open about the work she’s done on social media. “I remember my mom was like, ‘You’re really going to tell people online that you’ve had Botox?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah. I don’t care. It’s not like I’m changing my face.’” She likens Sebastian’s work to getting a haircut or wearing Invisalign to straighten teeth. “It is fun bonding, but I feel like he trusts me.”
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After all, isn’t trust a key pillar for both cosmetic work and relationships? The same way we enter relationships with vulnerability, openness, and hopes of not being judged is the same way we enter that first consultation appointment.
“It’s a trust-building exercise, but also I think being open about it and speaking candidly breaks down beauty standards between us,” says Dan. “And it’s not coming from a place of, I want to change you, or I want to change myself. It is a matter of opening up the discourse, which makes it feel less big and challenging.”
Ariana Yaptangco is the senior beauty editor at Glamour.