Curious about trying a sex toy for the first time? Learning how to use a vibrator isn’t as difficult as it might seem. Sex toys are now very much mainstream, and brands have made sure to design intuitive-to-operate products that target all sorts of pleasurable preferences. Though the best vibrators don’t require a PhD for operation, there are tons of types to explore and understand. I’ve tested over 1,000 vibes in the past decade. Here’s what I’ve learned about using sex toys, my guidance for how to try them out, and a few of my favorites (in case you’re looking for a beginner vibrator or something new to add to your play).
What are the different types of vibrators?
“The main distinction between vibrators is whether they’re for internal or external use,” says sex educator Emma Hewitt. Some are designed to do both—and at the same time. Here’s what that means (and some of the main types you’ll encounter).
These types of vibes are designed to stimulate anywhere externally on the body—usually the clitoris or vulva (though they usually make great nipple stimulators as well). They cannot be used for penetration. These are the most common categories.
| Type | What it is | Who it’s best for |
|---|---|---|
| Bullet vibrator | Small vibrator that resembles a bullet or tube of lipstick | Beginners to vibrators, as they’re very discreet, easy to use, and usually quite affordable |
| Palm vibrator | Wide, flat vibrator that fits into the palm and can be used to stimulate a greater surface area, like the whole vulva and the clit | Anyone who likes gentle clitoral stimulation |
| Wand vibrator | Vibrator with a bulbous silicone head attached to a long stem that delivers powerful vibrations | Anyone who likes strong, rumbly external stimulation |
| Clit sucker | Also called air-pulse and suction vibrators, these devices stimulate the clitoris via pressurized puffs of air | Anyone who enjoys the feeling of oral sex |
| Vibrating cock ring | A cock ring used to restrict blood flow, leading to longer and harder erections; it can also act as a clitoral vibrator | Anyone who desires prolonged erections; can also be used as an external clit vibe |
Internal vibes, on the other hand, can be used for penetration (and many double as external vibes too). The most common internal vibrators are those that stimulate the G-spot, which is the inside part of the clitoris, and the P-spot (a.k.a. the prostate, a gland packed with nerve endings that can elicit orgasms when stimulated).
| Type | What it is | Who it’s best for |
|---|---|---|
| G-spot vibrator | Vibrator that directly stimulates the G-spot (and sometimes A-spot and P-spot); usually curved and shaped with a wider head shape | Anyone who likes internal stimulation |
| Rabbit vibrator | A vibrator with a long body that massages the G-spot, while one to two “ears” on the outer body provide clitoral stimulation (here’s our guide to how to use a rabbit vibrator) | Anyone who likes simultaneous G-spot and clitoral stimulation |
| Anal vibrator | Any vibrating sex toy designed to be used anally (i.e., vibrating dildos, butt plugs, prostate massagers); all anal toys should have a flared base as a safety precaution | Anyone who enjoys anal stimulation or is interested in experimenting with anal play |
1. Read your toy’s instructions—and charge it up.
Whether this is your first vibrator or 36th, you should always take a few minutes to look over the instructions. The toy may have extra features you didn’t realize when purchasing, and it would be a shame to miss out on those. While you’re familiarizing yourself, you should be charging it. “Most vibrators will come with a little bit of charge when you open them so you can get a feel for it, but it’s not a full charge; it’s best to fully charge it, so there are no disappointments mid-session,” says Hewitt. After the vibe is charged, test out its modes, so you have a good idea of its intensities and patterns, how the controls work, and importantly, how to quickly turn the toy on and off.
2. Find a comfy spot and set up shop.
When you’re ready to give the vibrator a try, get comfortable. For some people, this might mean lying in bed, while for others, it’s propped upright in a chair or on the couch. Only you can decide the most relaxing position for your body. “Explore positions,” says Hewitt. “An easy one to get started is to sit up slightly in bed with a cushion behind your back, so you can see a bit of what is going on between your legs without the need to stay there once you get the hang of your toy.” You could also try it lying on your stomach or, if it’s waterproof, in the shower or bathtub.
3. Lube up!
It’s high time that we normalize lubricant for masturbation and partner play across the board. Lube is handy for penetration, of course, but it also helps reduce vaginal dryness and protects sensitive areas like the clit from chafing. A water-based lube is a safe choice to have on hand, as it works with all types of toy materials (unlike silicone-based, which can degrade silicone toys).
4. Take it slow.
It takes most people with vulvas about 20 minutes to become aroused, so you’ve got time to just focus on relaxing your body and mind. That might mean reading a bit of erotica, watching porn, or rereading some of your favorite sexts from a partner. If you fully immerse your body and brain in what’s happening, you’re going to have a better, more fulfilling experience.
Ease into the toy’s features as well. “Start on the lower levels, even if you are excited,” says Hewitt. “Vibrators these days tend to have a lot of modes, including vibration patterns and speeds, so explore slowly to find your favorite.” The more time you take to experiment with sensations, the better understanding you’ll have about what sexual pleasure feels like for you.
5. Find what feels best for you.
There’s no right or wrong way to use a vibrator—as long as you’re taking safety precautions (not all toys are anal-safe). There’s no right amount of time, either. Vibrators are tools to explore your body and find out what you like—and only you. Sometimes that includes branching out to other erogenous zones beyond the clit or perineum. If you’re using a bullet vibrator, your instinct might be to go directly for the clitoris and experiment with the different vibrations to see which one you like best for arousal. If you’re using a palm vibrator or a wand, you may find that it feels nice to trail it over your nipples, inside of your thigh, and across the vulva.
6. Keep your vibrator clean.
A healthy and happy sex life begins and ends with keeping your sex toys clean. Even if you’re only using them externally, bacteria can still build up, leading to UTIs, fungal infections, and all sorts of gross stuff. If you’re sharing toys with a partner, there’s a risk of STI transmission too. Many sex toys are easy to sterilize with warm water, a mild soap, and a pat-down with a clean, dry towel. Some are even dishwasher-safe. You’ll want to read your vibrator’s instructions for cleaning—and follow them.
The best vibrators to try
Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless Vibrator
Thanks to sheer power, this is one of the best wand vibrators on the market. The external vibrator doesn’t just stimulate the clitoris but the entire vulva, and you can’t go wrong with the Magic Wand Brand. I have this full-size one, the Mini, and even the Micro—and I love them all. While it may not be waterproof, you get a whopping three hours out of this wand before it needs to be recharged. It’s excellent for body massage during foreplay. I recommend wearing underwear to dampen the intensity of the wand, if it feels too strong at first.
Lelo Sona Cruise
The Lelo Sona Cruise’s mouth fits around the clit and emits pressurized air waves that are meant to mimic the feeling of oral sex. Suzannah Weiss, MA, MPS, a certified sex educator and Glamour toy tester, called it the best vibrator she’s ever tried in her review. I actually prefer the newer Lelo Sona Cruise 2, because it has four more settings (totaling 12 instead of the original’s eight). However, if you’re new to clit suckers, that might not matter, and plus, the Sona Cruise is a little bit cheaper.
Dame Pom
Palm vibrators are the answer for anyone who isn’t fond of precise stimulation—like you’d get with a bullet—and who might prefer a more diffused sensation. The Dame Pom fits in the palm of my hand and can be used anywhere for external stimulation. It’s a fun, versatile vibrator for beginners because it really allows you to explore different areas, like the nipples, elbows, and labia, and has a decent range of intensities. Its battery life is only an hour, but it’s waterproof and very discreet.
We-Vibe Sync 2
When people ask me for suggestions for sex toys for couples, I also recommend the We-Vibe Sync 2. Not only can it be enjoyed by both partners during some forms of penetrative sex—it buzzes against the clit and penis simultaneously—but should your partner need to fly halfway across the world for whatever reason, all they need to do is download the app and they can control the vibrator (yes, while it’s in you) from anywhere. We-Connect is easy to figure out and use, as long as you read the directions instead of just diving in headfirst, making it one of the best long-distance sex toys.
Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit
It’s hard to talk about vibrators and not mention rabbits. They were created to stimulate both the G-spot and clitoris at the same time, which for some can result in the oh-so-coveted blended orgasm. The Lovehoney has three speeds and seven vibrational patterns, is waterproof, and has a fantastic price point for what it features. That being said, it’s battery-operated—which isn’t the end of the world, but something to consider.
