You’ve KonMaried your house and cut out alcohol during the week, but you still feel stuck in a status quo that kind of sucks. Maybe your career's hit a dead-end or you've had the same "get in shape" goal for, oh, six years or so. Whatever the rut, read on for major inspiration from six women who set themselves on a satisfying new course.
“I Lost 90 Pounds”
For my entire adult life, I was 30 to 40 pounds overweight. I’d been on every diet you can think of: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach, Atkins, even the cabbage soup diet. When I did lose weight, I could never keep it off. Then, a few years ago, my mother was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer. By the time she passed away, I weighed 218 pounds, an all-time high. My mom was a cautious woman who didn’t live life to the fullest, and I was too. I used her death as a catalyst to do things I’d dreamed of but also feared. Weight loss surgery was one of them.
I saw a flyer for a bariatric surgery info session and signed up. I decided gastric-sleeve surgery was the best option for me and set up an appointment that night to meet with a surgeon the following month. I told only my dad and two friends.
It took a year to get used to my new sleeve. I focused mostly on eating protein because my sleeve could hold only very small amounts of food at once, and I wanted to prioritize the good stuff. The weight loss happened quickly at first—40 pounds in the first four to five months—and then continued for another year until I was down to 129 pounds. I barely recognized myself, and I loved the compliments from people who had known me when I was heavier.
Bariatric surgery has definitely changed my life for the better, and I have never regretted it, but it’s not a cure-all or the easy way out. I’ve actually put 14 pounds back on. Though it’s a little scary, I feel more in control now than I did before, because I know my sleeve can help me accomplish my goals if I go back to eating a little healthier. —Erin, 36, New Jersey
“I Leaned Way Out”
There was a lot to love about living in a big city: the culture, the restaurants, the people. But housing was expensive, and it kept getting more and more crowded. The turning point for me was when I started hitting traffic during my bike commute. First, there was congestion on the freeway, then in the bike lane; I felt like I was in a rat race I couldn’t win.
I’m a climber, and I’d fallen in love with the small town of Wenatchee, Washington, on a climbing trip. One of the things that drew me to it was that it offered easy access to climbing as well as trail running, skiing, and mountain biking. I could afford to buy a house there, and I felt like I could actually make an impact in a community of only about 34,000 people.
The thing was, there weren’t a lot of career opportunities. But I kept checking job listings and interviewing, and eventually, I found a job I love as a grant writer. My boyfriend was able to find work too, and we bought a house with a separate living space we rent out on Airbnb.
I used to feel anonymous; now I feel accountable. While I’m less likely to go to the grocery store without makeup on, I’m also I’m much more likely to join a board or support a local cause that’s important to me. Though Wenatchee is not the coolest place in the world, I get everything I need here, and my life is much more rewarding. My boyfriend and I aren’t sure whether we want a family, but if we decide that we do and I go off of my birth control, we know it would still be easy to participate in the outdoor activities that really satisfy us. —Megan, 34, Washington
“I Left an Abusive Relationship”
I was married for nearly 20 years to a man who would verbally insult me and have unpredictable outbursts.
I had always been afraid of divorce. I imagined myself in a bathrobe and curlers living in some slum apartment, lonely, broke, and depressed. My experience has been the opposite: I have never felt better than when I finally stood up for myself and refused to take my husband back after he left me—then had a change of heart.
While we were married, I never told anyone about my husband's affairs or abuse. Once he left, I opened up—and found that I had an amazing network of friends who wanted to support me with runs and power walks, wine, hugs, texts, and phone calls. I also started working like crazy after decades of tamping down my career. One of my projects won awards, I stumbled into a whirlwind romance with a slightly older gentleman who treated me like a queen, and I sold the house I got in the divorce and paid cash for a townhome on the river with no upkeep and beautiful views.
I always thought my lot in life was to be a devoted wife who throws dinner parties, but being an independent, urban professional is so much better. I don’t know whether I believe in karma. I do know that the moment I took control of my life, my situation changed markedly for the better. —Katherine, 44, Oregon
“I Went Back on Birth Control After a Decade”
When my husband and I met, we were both over 35 and knew that we wanted kids, so I wasn’t too worried about getting pregnant. Once we started trying in earnest, I actually had trouble conceiving. And after I did finally give birth to my son, I wasn’t that interested in sex for a while, which is pretty typical for new moms, especially when they’re nursing. Then I discovered my husband was having an affair, and our sex life was officially over.
Eventually, I started dating again. I figured that because I’d struggled with infertility and was 43 years old at that point, I didn’t need to bother with contraception. But my ob-gyn warned me that I was still ovulating and definitely needed to use something, especially as I entered into new relationships that would almost certainly entail a lot more sex than I was having toward the end of my marriage.
As a single mom reeling from a surprise divorce, the last thing I needed was to have another child, so I went back on birth control for the first time in 10 years. It's freed me up to date and have sex again without having to worry about getting pregnant. The guy I’m seeing now actually had a vasectomy, but he never bothered to schedule a follow-up to make sure that he’s shooting blanks; birth control gives me total peace of mind either way. Plus, it’s regulated my periods and eased their severity, which is a huge bonus. —Julie, 47, Connecticut
“I Started My Dream Business”
My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We settled in Brooklyn after college and became totally wrapped up in our careers: He was a high school teacher and administrator, and I was a writer. For years we dreamed of opening a combination bookstore, bar, and coffee shop that would allow us to combine all our favorite things and spend more time together. But it just wasn’t doable in Brooklyn, where the rents are sky-high.
So we moved two hours north, to a city we’d passed through many times while road-tripping over the years. We loved the people, the proximity to the mountains, and how affordable it was. We crowd-funded, got a small-business loan, and found an eighteenth-century building to rent, and in November 2016 we opened Rough Draft Bar & Books. We’ve been busy, thank God, since the day we opened. I still write, usually from the bar while multitasking on a million other things.
It’s funny, we bought a huge Victorian house with six bedrooms, and everyone keeps asking us when we’re going to fill it up. I’m on birth control because we’re still undecided about whether we want kids. If we do have them, it definitely wouldn’t be for a year or two, because running a new business is awesome but exhausting. —Amanda, 35, New York
“I Quit My Job to Travel”
A couple of years ago, someone pointed out that you get only 18 summers with your kids, and it really stuck with my husband and me. At the time, two-thirds of those summers had already come and gone with the oldest of our four children.
He and I had talked about traveling around the country, and we realized we wanted to do it with our kids, not after we’d retired. So we sold our house, quit our jobs, packed up all our stuff, educated ourselves about homeschooling (I’m a teacher), and bought an RV, which we nicknamed Periwinkle. Oh, and we started a blog, Four Kids, Four Corners.
We’re only a few weeks into our adventure, and it’s been an adjustment for sure. We have no washer, dryer, or dishwasher, we don’t always get cell service, and the six of us are sharing less than 300 square feet. It can be hard to enjoy the journey when you’re worried about things like laundry and where you’re driving to next.
On the flipside, I can clean our whole place in 15 minutes, our cost of living is cheap, and the kids are spending a ton of time together. We know we can go back to our old life at any time, but for now, we’re excited to trade that stability for gorgeous views, fresh air, new experiences, and making memories. —Jeri, 39, Kansas
