Venita Aspen wasn’t nervous about filming season 11 of Southern Charm, the beloved Bravo reality series set among Charleston’s cliquey, drama-filled social scene.
It’d be understandable if she was: Last year the content creator found herself at the center of the drama after her situationship with fellow cast member Jarret “JT” Thomas ended in flames when he suddenly, and publicly, went Instagram official with another woman. That’s par for the course for reality TV—especially a show like Southern Charm—but this was a new dynamic for Aspen, who’s mostly stayed above the fray since joining the show in season seven as a “friend-of.” (She became a full-time cast member in season eight.)
But as Aspen tells it, she was excited going into this season. “I was coming off last season’s drama, and it was like a fresh start, a clean slate,” she tells Glamour. “Last year I opened up more than I ever had when it came to the whole JT of it all, so I was like, Okay, people really got to see another side of me. Let me keep diving into that.”
Dive in, indeed. Before last year Aspen was something of a slow burn for a show that likes to celebrate and reward the ones who put it all on display. She showed up to every party, sure, but she admits she was “very closed off” and afraid of having her words used against her. Now she’s at the center of it all as the main storyline follows her up-and-down best-friendship with cast member Salley Carson, who keeps pursuing her crush on a newly single Craig Conover despite Aspen’s ongoing feud with him.
It’s the most screen time we’ve seen from Aspen yet, and the show has been better for it. She’s remained levelheaded even as the behind-the-scenes drama spills onto the screen. (Aspen has accused Conover of refusing to film with her, which would jeopardize her place on the show.) Her hosting skills are so good, she’s become the go-to person to plan other cast members’ parties. Her style is impeccable. She always takes the high road when most of us wouldn’t. And when she is in the wrong (like the time she was caught gossiping about Molly O’Connell’s vaginal surgery), she’s quick to own up to it and offer a genuine apology.
All this has made her extremely watchable—an important skill in reality TV, to be sure—but something even more valuable for a Bravolebrity: She’s likable. Below, we catch up with the Southern Charm star to talk about what inspired her to step more into the spotlight, how she’s navigating the attention, and more.
Glamour: I told a few of my Bravo-fan friends that I was interviewing you, and every single one said a variation of the same thing: “Oh, I love her. She deserves better.”
Venita Aspen: Oh my God. Yeah, I have been hearing that. “You deserve better friends.” “You deserve a better setting.” It’s hard to hear because you think you’re around people that care about you and stuff. But when you watch it back, sometimes it’s like, Oh, wait—they might not have actually had my best interests at heart.
How has it been watching the season back?
It’s hard to rewatch. Sometimes I’ll lean on my assistant to view it with me and take notes. I just have to try and remember that those are in-the-moment feelings, not now feelings, because we all hang out. You know what I mean? We’re all doing things normally, and then it’s like, Oh, that’s how you really felt? Why didn’t you just say that to me?
I’ve heard some Bravo stars say before that they have a friend or family member watch the episodes first and then give them a heads-up.
Yeah, I do that with my assistant, Demi. She will literally, bar for bar, give me notes about what’s important and who said what about me. With the whole Molly thing, for example, once I started watching it, I was like, I can’t finish this, because I felt so bad about what I said. And then I was like, Jesus, I can only imagine how she felt.
Watching the scene with Molly, as a viewer, it struck me how quick you owned up to it. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen such a fast apology on reality TV.
I’m a person that, if someone calls you out for something, what am I supposed to fight you on? I hurt your feelings, and that’s what you’re telling me. So I’m sorry for hurting your feelings and for speaking about you when I shouldn’t have. Why would I put up a fight against that? I’m not catty in that way. There’s no point. I love my friends. If they tell me I’m doing something wrong, I want to fix it to save the friendship. I don’t want to drag it on longer, and then we have this stupid fight for no reason.
How has it been watching the Salley and Craig of it all this season? When I talked to my friends, the general consensus was that Salley’s not being a “girl’s girl.”
It’s been a little hurtful because I don’t know why it was so hard to understand that I was just trying to make sure that she wasn’t going to get hurt by someone I didn’t deem worthy of her time. I know people are like, “Why do you care so much?” That’s my best friend. You don’t want to see someone close to you get hurt or be with someone you don’t think is worthy of their time. Sorry.
Yeah, we’ve all had to have those hard conversations with friends, where you say, “As your friend, I want you to be treated better. You deserve more.”
It’s not an easy conversation to have. This is the first time the audience is seeing a friendship that, for me, started from nothing and went to a thousand very quickly. Salley and I got really tight when we went on that Jamaica trip [last season]. We were thick as thieves and hanging out every day. So of course I don’t want her to do anything that’s going to harm herself, even if that means dating a boy I know she shouldn’t date. I’m trying to look out for her.
Because that friendship really developed off camera between seasons, I’d love to hear more about how you connected. How did it grow so fast?
Salley is such a fun girl, and I felt like it really brought that side of me out when I was hanging around her. Everyone was like, “Venita, what’s gotten into you?” And I was like, “I think it’s Salley!” She was bringing out the fun in me, and it was just so natural. I didn’t feel like I had to act differently. I didn’t feel like I had to try to put on a face. I could fully be myself with her, and she was very accepting of that. After Jamaica, we were hanging out almost every day, all the time. She introduced me to her friends, and I introduced her to my friends, and then our groups started mixing.
What are some things you like to do together?
Oh my God. This girl would have me out. I go out, but I don’t go out like that. Salley loves to go out. She got me back into watching football because she’s a big football girl. We’d go out on the boat together. We just have a good time. Hang out at the pool. She’s a friend that I can call and be like, “Hey, we’re doing this in 10 minutes.” And she’ll say, “Yeah, I’m coming.”
It’s always nice to have a friend that is down for whatever the plan is.
Yeah, she was always willing to hang out. And then when things got scary—there was one night where I thought I was literally dying in my house, about to have an asthma attack, and I called her. She was at my house in 7 minutes, and she lives 15 minutes away. I don’t know how she did that, but she was there.
And vice versa. There was a moment where she was at work and was like, “I have extreme stomach pain. I think I have to go to the hospital.” I was at the hospital in less than 10 minutes, and she had to get her appendix taken out. Things developed so quickly from fun to serious, knowing that we can take care of each other. So it’s like, Why aren't you listening to me now? You know?
I feel like we’re finally getting to see and hear your story more on the show. In what ways is it different filming now versus when you first started?
When I first started out, I was definitely very closed off. A lot of people tried to say it was me keeping a level of professionalism, because I started in the content creator space long before I was on television, but it was more so that I didn’t want to give people too much too soon and then they use it against me. So I was like, Let me see how well I can develop friendships and keep ones going that I had known prior to joining and take my time. Now I feel like—and again, I can attest this to Salley—I had someone I could fully be myself with and not have to stress and worry about, Are they going to talk about me or do something wrong? Are they going to make fun of me?
You mentioned earlier that your assistant gives you a heads-up about episodes. But when there are challenging scenes you have to watch back, or hard days during filming, who’s your support person?
Well, it was Salley, but now it’s my assistant. What I love about Demi is that she’s not a yes man. Shell be like, “Actually, Venita, you were wrong.” It’s nice and refreshing. I don’t want somebody to just say, “Yeah, you did nothing wrong in these moments.” I go to her a lot.
Where do you and Salley stand right now?
I think we’re okay. I think it differs by week as we watch the episodes back, but I don’t know. I also really haven’t been home to hang out with people and see anyone because I was spending a little bit of time in New York with Ciara [Miller, from Summer House].
I saw Ciara defended you recently online. How did you feel when you saw that?
So when the show is airing, I’m actually not on social media at all. I don’t have it on my phone. I don’t look. I don’t type anything in. Demi took a screenshot of it and sent it to me. She said, “I just want to make you aware that this is going on.” And when I saw it, my first thought was, Wow, thank you. I don’t do well when it comes to speaking up for myself. I’m quick to get so annoyed or angry that I shut down, and I don’t say anything. It felt really good to see her stand up for me in that way because I didn’t ask her to. She just did that because she knew it was the right thing to do as a true friend. She was like, “I’m sick of seeing this.” I love her.
Tell me about BravoCon this year. What was that like?
BravoCon was great. This was my third one, and I really feel like I had a lot of love this go-around, which was so nice and refreshing. It was fun. It was a chaotic, crazy three days in Vegas. I got to see some of my favorite Housewives and meet some for the first time.
Is there anyone that surprised you or was like, “We could be besties?”
Bronwyn [Newport, of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City]. It was the first day of BravoCon. I got out of the car, and she was right there. I was so nervous to speak, and my sister was like, “Go say hi to her?” I was having a fangirl moment. She’s very sweet and so kind. Meeting Rachel Zoe was insane too. I remember watching her show on Bravo years ago, so that was a very full-circle moment for me. She made me fall in love with the caftan, you know? She was fabulous. She was so kind. She offered me a Rachel Zoe Barbie, and I need to follow up on that.
You have great style, but I also think you have the best home on Southern Charm. I wish there were more scenes at your house just because I’m always wanting to see your decor and be inspired. Where do you shop? Where do you get your things?
Secondhand first. I think the majority of the furniture in my home is secondhand.
But are you thrifting? Facebook Marketplace? Antique shops? Where are you?
Antique shops. Thrifting. I’m not a Facebook Marketplace person. I don’t have anything against it, I just prefer an antique shop, especially living here in the South. The antique shops are great. I feel like we have more antique shops than we have grocery stores. I also recently started looking at Cherish and 1stDibs, but more for inspiration and less for shopping. I feel like sometimes it’s overpriced.
When it comes to clothing, all of my designer shoes are secondhand from The RealReal. I think I’ve only ever bought one bag brand-new. Everything’s secondhand. There’s just no point.
You’re not on social media now. When the show’s over, will you go back?
I give it about a month after the reunion airs to go back. By that time a lot of it has died down. People aren’t as mean and stuff. I had a crazy thought this morning, actually, that I might not ever go back. It’s crazy to say out loud because I’m a content creator first, but I have felt so much better from a creative standpoint. And from a mental health standpoint, I’m waking up every day and not feeling like I have to compare myself to other people. You can’t see anyone else’s ideas. You can’t see what anyone else is doing.
I keep saying I’m not on social media, but technically I am on Threads. Threads is a safer space. I decided to comment on a repost of my apology about Molly, just saying, “Thank you for posting this.” And when I woke up the next morning, I opened Threads and saw things people were saying about me, and I could feel the weight of sadness coming up. So I deleted my comment because I don’t want to see the replies. I’m good. It’s scary. The longer you’re off of it, when you see something like that, in a second, how your mood can change. I don’t care what people say. People are like, “Oh, it doesn’t hurt me.” Yes, it does, babe. You’re just trying to act like it doesn’t. It hurts.
Are there any goals you have for next season?
I’d love to host more parties. I’m planning everybody’s party right now, but I haven’t hosted a party of my own. Fingers crossed. Hopefully the higher-ups will see this and be like, “Yeah, we’ll let her host in her place next year.”
